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The Hottest Thing You Have Ever Seen

from Greatest Hits by THE DUVTONS

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lyrics

That’s hot
Like, wow
Like, whatever
That’s hot
Like, wow
Like, whatever

I live in the plastic age evolving up from stone
My tools seem somewhat primitive til my plans changed with a new phone
Colonics for the third world kids and botox for my dog
Change its name to Tinkerbell and piss the whole world off
I taste all my meals twice, going up and going down
Salmon has been known to like swimming upstream anyhow
I’m twisted and I’m evil
More silicone than man
I’ve created a monster and it’s covered in fake tan

I, I, I
I’m the every girl dream
I, I, I
I’m the hottest thing you’ve ever seen
Now some say all these facelifts are going to my head
But fuck the ugly people
I wish they all were dead

I wish I was as pretty as half the Olsen twins
I wish I was in rehab with the E.T cameras a rollin’
Birthday vouchers for boob jobs
And lipo for Christmas
I bought the cutest little t-shirt that reads “I am a dumb slut”

I’ve been on the pill since back before my training wheels
I’ve been lying on my back trying to get a movie deal
Everybody wants a piece of me and that I understand
If you grab em too hard baby they might come off in your hand

I’ve fucked in all the Hiltons, in Paris around the world
Their service was appalling so I stole all there towels
We worship the Lohan’s and the Britney’s and the Duff’s
If created in their image, then they created us
We came to mourn the passing of every bloated bitch
No tears for unknown soldiers but buckets for that Nicole Smith
Eating gives you cancer and we know this to be true
If I die make sure no fat people come to my funeral
Get Dolce & Gabbana to make my tombstone
I want Ashleigh Simpson miming to the death march as lowered down
I can’t believe that I got buried in last seasons dress
That’s an ugly persons revenge
How I wish they all were dead


I wish they all were dead
I wish they all were dead
The fat the weird and the ugly
They’re all my fucking enemies
I wish they all were dead
I wish they all were dead
Why should I try to take pity when they don’t try to look like me
It’s I, I, I
Yeah it’s all about me
I’m the best thing that you could ever be
I, I, I
Is my trademark yell
I’m a designer disaster in a faintly transparent shell


That’s hot
Like, wow
Like, whatever
That’s hot
Like, wow
Like, whatever

credits

from Greatest Hits, released October 31, 2017

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THE DUVTONS Melbourne, Australia

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